Life?

What's life? People always define having good times with friends, drinking smoking and not dota-ing is life. Well, to me I can't even define life in my own way. Waking up in the morning today and with tears rolling down isn't exactly what I've planned for the day. Sleeping at forsaken hours must have really taken a lot out of me. There's so much to think right now. So many decisions to make.

There's a saying that goes, dream big and you'll live big. If that is so, why bother waking up? I'm really frustrated and confused right now. I don't know what I should do. Everything I do tend to be wrong. Is life really that difficult? I've never imagined it this way. When I was young, I thought my parents had my life fixed. Just follow the path they've created and I'll be who they want me to me. That's way much easier than finding your own life. I see a lot of my friends complaining about their parents. Being so strict and forcing them to study. Planning up everything for them is such a pain. Be fucking thankful that you have parents that are capable to provide you with such luxury I'll say. No? Wait till you lose all of that and start living on your own. Seeing how this world is imperfect. Seeing how everyone can be so deceiving. Well ladies and gentlemen, THIS IS LIFE!

What's making me so upset?

1st off, my girlf's parents want to sponsor me to further my studies. ( sounds great? wait till you see what's next )

2nd off, my family is deciding to move out and sell the house. Due to mounted debts to the bank. My sister suggest we rent a house nearby and we shall spilt the cost. RM1000.00 for the house. Which mean... RM500.00 each? I'm earning RM2000.00 now. minus off epf and sosco, my gross salary is bout` RM1.7k+

Now take RM1.7k - RM500 =RM1.2k

RM1.2k - ( daily usage : food + cig + transport = RM40.00 x 30) =RM0

That's minimum usage without leisure. Which means no top up, no clubbing, no dota

I won't be able to afford a car even if I get a promotion. Which means I should get a better pay job? yeah sure, with my qualifications, I'll sure to bag a 3k job in no time.

Finally, taking in the 1st point and the 2nd point which should I choose? My degree which will take 4years to complete and within that 4years I'll get no money from my parents and working part-time just won't fit. How much can I earn for part time. Let's just say I have 4 days of college in a week. I work 3 days a week which will probably earn me RM100 a day. Let's do that math:

RM100x 3days x 4weeks = RM1200

If I'll be studying in Subang, I'll have to rent a house there right? Hmm, RM400.00 That's really CHEAP for a house in Subang areas.

Okay so RM1.2k - RM400 = RM 800.00

My family's house RM500.00

RM800 -RM500=RM300

So i'll get RM 10.00 / day to use.

Hmm, not too bad right? I'll eat bread which will be like RM2/day

Oh wait, working le? x yah duit pergi ke? x yah makan? Adui cam maner nak kira ni? PUKIMAK LA! x leh kira. LAN TAK LA!

Now does this explain everything? And taking into the consideration, it is my gf's parent's money I'm using. Isn't it awkward?I really don't know. Probably I'll just stick to work and live a moderate life?

Slightly lower than moderate since I get RM40/day right? So yeah.

Those of you who complains you don't get enough pocket money, try doing the math. Experience work for yourself and you'll understand how hard your parents work to earn you where you are now.